Delilah's Song

I've been studying, meditating, and writing a lot about Judges 16 lately. It's the story of Samson, a judge/deliverer/champion of Israel, who, like so many, loses his sense of mission because of his libido. All because of Delilah. The temptress. The wanton woman. The one motivated by greed. A stranger to love and honesty.

The more I hang out with Delilah and Samson, though, the more I see myself in her. Seeing a powerful man who's vulnerable to her, calculating how I can use my words and my charms to get my way. Not so much because I want to put an end to my nation's enemy, but because I want to 1) be right, 2) hide my own insecurity, 3) satisfy a warped sense of self-esteem, or especially, 4) make sure I'm in control so that I never experience pain from a man again.

I can't demonize Delilah anymore, because only the grace of God and the guidance and counsel of His word and His Holy Spirit keep me from reverting to Eve-like selfish influence (that is, when I listen to the Holy Spirit).

I wrote a song for Delilah - and for all of us who share her hurt, and tend towards her coping mechanism; manipulation. I'd like to share it with you:

Delilah’s Song by Sharifa Stevens
“I’ll never let go of you” he said
sincerely spoken between kisses
the truth as my heart reminisces
lies and love can be so close
I gave all I should and some I shouldn’t
Knowing that happily ever after
Joys and secrets, whispers, laughter
Would be mine for all time

But his love was not enough
To cover me
And the cold is seeping in
My heart is breaking
His love was not enough
To keep me safe and now I understand
no
one
can.

“I’ll never get hurt again” I swore
caress their egos, bide my time
fill them up with lust’s sweet wine
till they’re begging for more
What they don’t know is
I find pleasure
In defiling what they treasure
The first man stole my soul
There’s nothing left to control

Because his love was not enough
To cover me
And the cold has set in deep
My heart is frozen
His love was not enough
To keep me safe and now I understand
no
one
can.

So can’t you see
By the time he came to me
To rest his head upon my knees
I knew what I should do
Stroke his hair and whisper lies
Lay his head upon my thighs
Get that money, that’s the prize
Break one more man that I despise

Dignity gone but a little richer
Too blind to see the bigger picture
The reality that’s hurting me
When I cut them I feel pain
The hole in my heart keeps getting bigger
There’s more than just this killer figure
Someone told me life can be better
living for Christ is where you truly gain

They said His love is enough
To cover you
With the clothes of dignity
And love that’s pure
His love is enough
To cover you like
No
Man
Can
They said His love is enough
To cover you
See your worth was lost
But oh, he found it
His love is enough
To come for you and
No one can…
Take you from His hand.